The Scotch Fairy

Ancient Scottish Lore speaks highly of the Scotch Fairy, who travels the world at night replenishing the Scotch supply of those whom he deems worthy. It is truly quite easy to attract the attention of this rare spirit, as all that is required is to leave a bottle of your finest single-malt Scotch out on your bar or counter, with the top off, of course, as the Scotch Fairy is quite a tiny fellow. It is also important to remember to leave a good shot of the water of life in the bottle for the fairy, else it will fail to attract his attention. Then, in the wee hours of the morn’ before dawn, when the Scotch Fairy is out and about, should he spy your bottle and its open invitation, he may well deign to pay it a visit.

What happens next is truly a sight to behold; the Scotch Fairy fly’s down into the bottle, drinks up the remnants of the whiskey, and, providing you did indeed leave enough of a sample for him so as to gain his good grace, his body analyzes and processes the quality of the scotch; then, this grand spirit and patron of the water of life, completes his noble task, filling your bottle to the brim with the same fine single-malt that had previously filled your bottle. But, be forewarned, should you leave out a bottle of blended Scotch, or a drink equally as foul, what you may find may resemble something more closely related to a horse.

The Scotch Fairy was originally conceived by Dana Chick.

This Web page best viewed while listening to The Aqua Velvet’s “Guitar Noir”

copyright 1998 Todd C. Hansen and Dana Chick, all rights reserved