Captain’s Log, Stardate, oh, wait, that’s pajama boy stuff.
We were out near a planet called Tatooine, looking for some good surf, and failing completely to find any. Thinking it was time to try out the new Wave Maker 2012 Palinizer from the Duras Sisters, we prepared for the best. Then, my comm. officer picked up a distress signal. Some pod had been jettisoned out into space, so we locked on to it with our tractor beams and pulled it on board to our flight deck.
When I arrived on the flight deck to check out the pod, my security team had already cracked the hatch and two droids, one gold in color, but not construction, and somewhat humanoid, were on the deck next to the pod.
“What have we got here, Kamahameha? More refuse for the Enterprise to haul of to the dump?”
“It appears so, Kahuna,” was his reply.
“If I may impose upon you, sir,” began the humanoid-styled droid, “my counterpart and I are on a top-secret mission for the Empire. It is imperative that you give me command of your vessel so that we can complete our mission. Emperor Obama commands all to treat us as his voice and representative of his power against the Jedi Teabaggers.”
Okay, I don’t take orders, especially from a droid. I pulled my disruptor and blasted the walking junk heap into a billion bits of star stuff.
I was about to blast the smaller rollie-pollie R2 unit when it suddenly projected an image of a beautiful (for a human) female.
“Help me, Rocky-wan Viterbo. You’re our only hope,” the image of the female said. The holographic projection continued to loop.
“I wonder if she means old Rambo Viterbo,” I said, half to myself.
“You know this Viterbo she mentions?” Kamehameha said.
“Possibly. He’s an odd-ball surfer that hangs out in Mos-Eisley Spaceport.” I smacked the intercom button, “Bridge, set a course for Mos-Easiley Spaceport, warp 6.”
I looked at the droid again. “Kamehameha, secure this droid in my ready room. And jettison that pile of refuse,” I pointed out the blasted and twisted remains of the C3PO unit, which I wanted cleared off of my flight deck.
Has I headed back up to the bridge I pondered what Viterbo’s involvement with the R2 unit was; is he involved with the Tea party Patriots; was he in fact the Jedi Tea Party Patriot, to be precise the legendary Rocky-wan Viterbo; and why is Emperor Barking Tribble Obama after this R2 unit? And, more importantly, when will I get to test out the new Wave Maker 2012 Palinizer?
Kahuna out.
