“It was, like just so awesome, dude. We were just hangin’ out near Qo’nos when we received word that Praxis was going totally ballistic, we just had to fire up all engines to be in a good position to ride what ever came out of there,” Captain Kahuna, of the IKV Kowabunga was quoted as saying after his magnificent ride when the moon Praxis detonated sending out shockwaves capable of rending lesser starships down to their base atomic structure.
When asked how he knew what to expect, Kahuna responded in his typical laid back surfer style, “Didn’t, dude. Our analysis said we could expect to ride it for maybe one or two parsecs, but we must have covered a good 20 parsecs before that wave ran out of steam. It was totally gnarly! Even the Feddies got into the action, after the wave had lost half of its power. Check out Sulu and the Excelsior. He was the first of the Feddies on the scene, and actually did better than that Feddie Sheep wanna be surfer of the U.S.S. Bogus, Captain Gremmie. But I gotta admit, when Gremmie wipes out, he really wipes out.” It had been reported that the Kowabunga had ten feddies hanging from its warp engine pods, the Klingon way of “hanging ten.”
The Bogus, as Kahuna was alluding to, was so badly crippled that it had to be towed to the nearest starbase by the garbage scowl Kirk’s Dream, then cannibalized for parts. The now Commander Gremmie was reassigned to the sanitation division of StarFleet. “Well, I look forward to my new command, the scowl Bat Guano. I have been told it has a first rate crew.”
StarFleet did acknowledge plans to build a Bogus II, but would not disclose any further details. Rumors abound that it would be commanded by Ace Rimmer, but that could not be confirmed. Rimmer declined to comment. “Sorry fellas, can’t tell you what’s in the cards for Ace Rimmer. Gotta run now, chaps. The universe needs saving. Smoke me a kipper. I’ll be back in the morning.” What a guy!
Surf fans who witnessed the event, described the Kowabunga’s ride as a religious experience. “They were like, you know, one with the universe, dude,” said Centurion Toronto, an officer in the Romulan Empire and avid surfer. “They just did about everything imaginable out there. Right on, Dudes!”
