The Infamous Admiral Kirk, as part of a plan to terraform whole worlds, unwittingly fell into the conspiracy of the Klingon Surfer Dudes to develop an “on demand” wave machine. They exceeded Captain Kahuna’s wildest dreams with the development of the Genesis Torpedo, a device capable of generating waves so big and powerful, it redefined what “yu’eghmey lIghlu’meH QaQ jajvam” meant to the many surfers within the Empire. Sure, the end result was taking a nebula and turning it into a highly unstable planet, but we got two really big waves for the price of one torpedo.
The first one was one wild ride, a result of the torpedo detonating onboard the U.S.S. Reliant, with Kahn still onboard, attempting to take out his sworn enemy with his dying breath. Little did he know that in so doing he began one of the greatest surf conditions in 50 years. The second, although not as big, was still a spectacular ride to have experienced.
Fortunately, the IKV Kowabunga was on hand to catch this truely stupendous wave, and rode it for lightyears before the wave finally dissipated into nothing. Kahuna, seeing this as a great opportunity, seized the targ by the horn and rode the Genesis Wave like the expert he truely is. Even Captain Gremmie of the U.S.S. Bogus, who wiped out in the first three seconds of his ride, had to admit that the crew of the Kowabunga, with Kahuna at the helm, showed great expertise as they rode this ultimate of waves and shot the tube, with the thundering crash of the stellar system sized curl all about them.
“That was one gnarly wave. There must have 30 other ships out there trying to ride that baby. I was lucky to hold on to that wave as long as I did! Couldn’t believe how long the Kowabunga held that curl, then shooting into the tube like some crazed out dude, dude, you should of seen it,” Gremmie said in an interview after the Kowabunga completed its ride. “Next time, locals only, dude!”
In an exclusive interview, Kahuna reported that this was the biggest wave he had seen to date, and looked forward to even bigger waves once they finished analyzing all of the data they obtained on the genesis torpedo. “It was awesome, dude,” he went on to say. “We could have stayed out there all day, riding on top of that wave. I felt like I was, like, you know, on top of the universe or something. Eventually I had to get into the tube and experience the pounding of the wave crashing in on itself. Dude, you’ve never experienced anything as truely as gratifying as riding the gnarliest wave created. And those posers, Han Solo and Chewbacca, said the Deathstar ripple was the ultimate! In whose universe is all I’ve got to say to that, dude! And all those gremmies trying to ride Genesis. Go back to surfin’ wave tanks, dudes!”
