Stardate, oh wait, that’s pajama boy talk.
It had been a while since I last stopped in at Quark’s and I was long overdue for a few pints of Guinness with Tribble Sweat chasers. Quark was, of course, in his typical sly self. It was obvious he had something to tell me.
“You heard about the new president of the Federation?” he asked as he placed my first pint and shot in front of me.
“What did he screw up now?” I asked as I took a good long draught of my Guinness. Kahless, did that taste good.
“He came out here for Bajor Day, preaching ‘save the galaxy’ and ‘prevent climate change’,” Quark said. Then he turned serious, “and he used up over 9,000 dilithium crystals getting here to do that. NINE THOUSAND! During a recession, no less! Tells us to stop using stuff up, then goes out and burns off more dilithium in a day than I use in 20 years running this gin joint of mine!”
I did the math in my head, said to Quark, “that’s about what I use in 6 years on the Kowabunga. Even when I am out surfing the gnarliest waves.”
“No kidding,” Quark said.
I nodded and finished off my first pint, picked up the shot glass of Tribble Sweat, knocked it back, and slammed the glass, rim down, on the bar. Quark winced. He hates it when I do that.
“While the blow hard was here, he visited Cisco. I, of course, was rung up to bring in something special for them to drink,” Quark said; I noticed a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“So.”
“So I get out my best bottle of Saurian Brandy for Cisco,” Quark said.
“The Triple-XO?” I asked. It’s the stuff Quark refuses to give me, but readily serves to Kirk, Kor, Kang, and Koloth.
“Absolutely. Realizing that Brandy is for heroes, and, although Cisco and I have had our differences over the years, he is a hero.”
“Of course,” I said, and began to wonder if I should order some of this up. “And what did you serve to ‘The One’?”
“I took up a bottle of Denibian Claret for President Obama.” The grin was fully formed on his face. I let out a chuckle.
“Because everyone knows that Claret is for boys and Brandy is for heroes!” I said.
This brought out a round of laughter from both of us and a fresh pint and shot from Quark.
Kahuna out.
Note: Dr. Samuel Johnson once said “Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.” April 7, 1779.
In 2009, Obama said that negotiating was more involved than it was when FDR and Churchill could sit around a table drinking brandy and smoking cigars. That must be because FDR and Churchill were heroes while Obama is just a pot-smoking, claret drinking little boy.
On April 22, 2009, President Obama used over 9,000 gallons of jet fuel in order to travel to Iowa and deliver a speech on Earth Day and the need to conserve fuel and not pollute. This does not include the fuel consumed by ground transport for the event, nor the total pricetag to cover security and the transport of other White House staff for the event. All at taxpayer expense.
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