Stardate, oh, wait, that’s pajama boy talk.
Every now and again, I pick up something of exceptional interest to trade to Quark. Today was not only an exception, it was an exceptional exception. In the form of a new R2D2 unit. When I strolled into Quark’s place I heard him bellow, Don’t bring that thing in here, Kahuna. We don’t serve their kind, and you know it.”
“This is different, Quark. It’s not here to be served, but has something stored in it that looks rather…interesting.”
“Interesting?”
“Okay, profitable.”
“Now your talking, Kahuna. What’s it got.”
“Show him, R2.”
R2 began running the holographic message loop I stumbled upon after buying it. A group of Federation soldiers, dressed in battle camouflage gear appeared. There were eight of them. Including the Vulcan.
“Yeah, so?” Quark said, impatiently.
“Just watch.”
One of the soldiers stepped forward and spoke:
“Halp us Jon Eff Carry. U r hour onlee hohp!”
It repeated the message several times before cutting it off.
Quark was looking interested now.
“There seems to be more message, but I haven’t been able to get it to play it all back.”
“I wonder. Guinness?”
“Sure, and a shot of Tribble Sweat.”
“You got it.” Quark sidled off down the bar to get my drinks. While he did so, he motioned to the Doctor to come join us.
“Kahuna, play that again for the Doctor, would you.” Quark said as he set the drinks down on the bar in front of me.
“Play it again, R2.”
The message played again, and the Doctor watched it intently. Finally, the Doctor spoke. “New R2 unit, quite new. Where did you get it?”
“Traded it for a Wave Maker 06. Some Orion trader off of Epsilon Tao Tao.”
“Definitely more message here. Let’s see if I can extract it.” The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and made some motions on the R2 unit. The message played.
“Seniter Carry. We dirn’t studie harhd, ohr dew hour homewerk. Nowe we r stuk on Bajor. Halp us Jon Eff Carry. U r hour onlee hohp! Okay, Jim, how did that look? Did we get it right that time.”
“Perfect. Spock, do you think you can manage to look a little more uneducated?”
“That would not be logical, Captain.”
“Bones, can you show Spock how to do it?
“Dammit Jim, I’m a Doctor, not a method actor!”
After the three of us stopped laughing, Quark looked at me in all seriousness, and said, “How much do you want for this treasure, Kahuna?”
“Half the tab when you run it.”
“Done!”
I finished my Guinness and Tribble Sweat, slamming the empty shot glass upside down on the bar.
Quark winced. “You know I hate it when you do that.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Kahuna out.
Thanks to the soldiers of the 1st Combat Brigade, 34th Infantry, Minnesota National Guard, now serving in Iraq, for inspiring this entry in the Surf Logs of the Kahuna.
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