Stardate, oh wait, that’s pajama boy talk.
We were at Tunok’s “You Kill It, We Grill” bar and grill. Since we were pressed for time, we opted for the pre-killed critter combo surprise. That’s the one where you don’t know what you are getting until it is set in front of you. It may be fresh, however, not knowing if it is Mugato or Denebian Slime Devil adds a little mystery and flare to the meal.
You may wonder what goes with Mugato? Blood wine. And with Slime Devil Cakes? Blood wine. How about Rack of Vulcan? Blood wine (albeit Vulcan’s Blood wine). Or, for that matter, Tribbles on a Stick? Blood wine.
We were on our fourth bottle, and that is after several rounds of Guinness in the bar for what seemed to be an eternity waiting for a table. It was a busy night, and not many diners were in the mood to hunt down their own meat that evening, so it was jammed. Note to self: Next time make reservations, or plan to hunt. Hunters always get premium seating.
Bwanna was filling me in on his accomplishments in his many runs in the Rua Pentherod, and Thunder Jack giving me his sage advice on targs and sledding the rugged tundra of Rua Penthe, and the need to always show the targs who is boss, otherwise, you’ll end up being their next meal. Both seemed to know their stuff. Bwanna took great delight in informing me that he is the only musher to win the “Flaming Torch” ten years running, and has won it more than anyone else. I was very impressed until Thunder Jack explained what the “Flaming Torch” was awarded for.
“Last place,” he boomed, “ten years running.”
“You’re kidding, right? That doesn’t sound like a great accomplishment to me.” I said.
“It takes heap big practice to come in last every time,” Bwanna said in his own defense. “Bwanna big time expert.”
It was beginning to dawn on me that I’d been had. If Bwanna was going to coach me for the Rua Pentherod, and since he is THE major last placer in the race, I was in deep tribble fur.
I leaned over close to Thunder and said, “Hmmm, I thought you said he could help me be a great musher?”
Thunder Jack let out a laugh that shook the whole restaurant, responded, “The trick is to see what Bwanna does, and do something else. If he recommends a gentle targ named Spock, you choose the ferocious one name Kohath. Or Kor.” He emptied his flagon of blood wine, slamming it down on the table with a thunderous clap that rang throughout Tunok’s Bar and Grill, startling the other diners, and their dinners. (Fresh meat is best served when it is still moving.) He reached for the bottle, discovered it was empty, and signaled to our waiter to bring more Blood wine.
By the puzzled expression on my face, Thunder Jack knew he needed to explain further. “You need a good lead targ, like my current champion, Fek’lhr. Now he’s a real strong leader. And you’ll need that, and it has to be one that will recognize you as Alpha, otherwise, you’ll never get his respect.”
“How do I do that, get his respect?” I asked.
“Well, showing him who’s the boss, who’s number one. And if all else fails, bite his ear,” Thunder Jack responded.
I saw Bwanna nodding his agreement, “Yes, bite his ear works every time. Unless you are some kind of redshirt wanna be, then you dinner anyway. Better to get targ named Daisy.”
“Gremmie has Daisy, so maybe he should get Lassie, or Gentle Ben?”
“Yeah, those good entry level targs for mushing. Surfer-boy do well with those,” Bwanna agreed with Thunder Jack. “We take you down to Kola-KooKoo’s Targ Farm and you get pick of litter.”
This is some way to be introduced to the Rua Pentherod. Not the best way, though. Not by a long shot.
Kahuna
