Stardate, oh wait, that’s Pajama Boy talk.
After spending a lot of time tracking Flipper Kerry and his ship Winter Soldier, we managed to get a lot of new footage of his ineptitude on the really big waves provided by the latest in wave-making surf torpedoes. He sunk to new lows, not only slamming into several of his secret service escorts and cussing them out, we got class A action footage of wipeout after wipeout. I had to give him credit for trying, even if it was a laugh.
With the Kowabunga cloaked, we made our way to Epsilon Eridani to test out the one torpedo I had left. We rendezvoused with long time surfing buddies Han Solo and Chewbacca, who, with the aid of Capt. Sulu of the Excelsior, set up some ships with cameras to record our own use of this latest of greatest super surf torpedoes. Both Sulu and Han wanted in on the action, and since they were helping record the event, I welcomed them to join me on the waves that this thing would generate. After all, there is plenty of room in space for all of us to be a shockwave rider.
All was ready, and my weapons officer launched the torpedo straight into the K2, orange-red dwarf star that was Epsilon Eridani. When it impact, the resulting cataclysmic explosion sent wave after wave of wonderful high riding surf the likes of which had never seen before.
As we were enjoying this wonderful ride, cutting the crest of the lead wave, carving the face, then shooting the tube, I noticed a familiar ship bouncing along the trailing ripples: the Bat Guano. Then came that all too familiar voice over the subspace radio, screaming “There’s no-o-o-o need to -fear, Captain Gremmie is here.”
With his appearance, I had my navigation and weapons officers check for any other shoulder hoppers. The report came back negative. No Winter Soldier in sight. We continued our ride.
After shooting out of the tube, we carved our way across the face, and back up to the top of the crest, then sliced down on the wave, hard, riding it for all that she was worth. It was tough going as I felt the hull of the Kowabunga shiver and shake like an old wooden frigate caught in a hurricane. As we thought the ship was going to fly apart on us at any moment, I said a quiet thank you to the Duras sisters for this wonderful ride as the crew shouted out “Sto-Vo-Kor!”
Then we were out of it, the wave losing much of it’s energy. It was one wild ride, but the ship held up.
I contacted the Excelsior and Millennium Falcon and suggested that after we gather up the recorders, we all meetup at Quark’s for celebratory drinks and watching this bodacious ride we just experienced. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on more of these Duras Sisters torpedoes. They are, by far, the best yet.
Kahuna
