Stardate oh, wait, that’s pajama boy talk.
The surf was really up today at Ceti Alpha VI.
We got the IKV Kowabunga positioned, watching the sets roll in, watching for that perfect wave, when all of a sudden, over the ship-to-ship, I received a hail from that Feddie Sheep, Captain Gremmie of the garbage scowl, Bat Guano.
“What do you want, Gremmie?” I demanded.
“Where’s the su-u-u-u-u-r-f, du-u-u-u-u-de?” he responded most sheepishly.
“No way, hoser. This is for locals only. Better scat before Khan spots you!”
“Oh, come on, Kahu-u-u-u-na, there’s plenty of wa-a-a-a-ves to go around.”
This poser just doesn’t know when to cut and run, and the waves were getting more and more gnarly. Realizing I’ll never shake this turkey, it was either blast him out of space, or push him on a mellow chaser wave, the kind that even Gremmie can’t wipe out on. Of course, I could always let Khan swing by in Reliant and fry Gremmie’s pooper-scooper. I decided to take the higher road of honor, especially since a new set was coming in, and it looked like the chaser would be about Gremmie’s speed.
“Oh, Jimmy Kirk, Gremmie! Catch this next wave, and let’s see what you can do with it.”
“Cool, du-u-u-u-de. See you on the other side, Kahu-u-u-na.” And with that he went for the wave I directed him to.
This chaser was even more mellow than I thought it would be, barely a ripple in a wave tank, and that’s really about all that Gremmie can handle. Maybe he’ll get lucky and score some points and get command of something better than the Bat Guano.
But then again, maybe not. It just figures that this hosehead would wipe out after a few A.U.s, even after this itsy-bitsy chaser wave had petered out. What a loser!
Kahuna
